Now Playing Tracks


Beauty or brains? 

Fuck that, it’s not a dichotomy. Let’s not act like mascara glues girls eyes so shut that they can’t read a word of Dickens or solve a trig problem. Let’s talk about how no boy has ever been asked if he’d rather get his Bachelor’s or get married; no boy has ever been told that he’s too handsome to run for office. So why cover up my tits so you can take me seriously? 

Beauty or brains? I’ll take ‘em all, thanks.


What to Expect from the New J.K. Rowling Story About A 34-Year-Old Harry Potter

Harry Potter and his friends finally get to act their age. And it’s as depressing as it sounds:

  • After three beers, Harry starts claiming he never made it to the pro Quidditch league because of a knee injury.
  • Ron calls Hermione a bitch and they have to go to magical couples counseling.
  • Hagrid is working on an erotic fiction novel entitled ‘50 Shades of Me Penis.’
  • Harry uses an Accounting Spell to cheat on his taxes.
  • Ron is starting to get pretty into Steely Dan.
  • The sorting hat had a midlife crisis and turned into a fedora.
  • Hogwarts is now an online wizard school.



We make Tumblr themes